Tingly

My foots asleep. So it's all tingly.

Basically, I'm writing this for myself. It's just a long explaination of my day, and you really don't need to read it. It'll be boring. And pretty stupid. So feel free to stop reading at any time.

Today was an interesting day. It was Blackout Day for Spirit Week, so I dressed up. Of course. ;) I always dress up. But today was probably my favorite day. I wore my black lounge pants with grey leggings underneath, and a black t-shirt that says "My bishop rocks," and my black flip flops. I was comfy all day long. :D I love it. I was kind of late leaving the house because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to wear. I still managed to make it to school on time, though. So that's good. Today was an A day, which means first period spanish, second period adult roles, lunch, third period history, fourth period social dance.

First period was alright. We did what we always do: Nothing. He explained conjugating verbs. I'm sorry, but if someone in my class doesn't know how to conjugate a verb, they're screwed. Because, even though I'm in spanish 1, we learned that at the VERY beginning of the year. And here we are in 4th term, and he's explaining it again. My spanish class is full of idiots.

Second period wasn't too exciting, either. We did a cross word, which took a surprisingly long time, and she gave us 2 other worksheets that I didn't get to finish. One is on budgeting (ugh) and the other on marriage. They're due next time, so I'll have to finish them this weekend sometime.

Lunch was pretty good. Alan and I had cooler ranch doritos and blue ice gatorade. Lunch of champions. All of the really healthy olympians? Yeah, they totally have cooler ranch doritos and blue ice gatorade for lunch everyday. I so know it.

Third period was... well, we had a DBQ today, and I wanted to scratch out my eyes. I did a horrible job. We'll leave it at that.

Fourth was actually pretty good. We've been working out the kinks on our cha cha performance. I think it's going to be really fun. I don't know if it will look good, but it will be fun. And that's all that's important. Plus, when we weren't dancing, we played Skum. Now that's a fun card game! :D

After school was when everything kind of... collapsed. Today was the auditions for concert choir. Now, everyone is going to think I'm a baby, and it's kind of weird considering how outgoing I am most of the time, but I'm not a performer. I don't like auditions, I don't like performing by myself, I don't like that kind of thing. It scares me to death. I wasn't too scared for the auditions, because Katie was going to audition with me, and it was going to be ok. But then Katie told me she wasn't auditioning. She didn't want to be in the choir. I had been nervous all day, and Alan had sort of been teasing me about it. He's so confident in performing, I don't think he realised how much it scared me. Anyway, I was in the cafeiteria after school, like I always am, when Katie called me and told me that she wasn't auditioning. I told her it was alright, and then I booked it out of the room. I knew that i was this [] close to a meltdown, and I didn't want everyone to see me cry. I'm such a baby! ;) So I went to b hall, which is where I knew Alan would be. If I saw him, that would be great. But I didn't want to spend a lot of time looking for him because I didn't want anyone to see me cry. So then Jamie stopped me in the hall "Are you ok?" Then I lost it. I started crying, and I explained everything to her. She consoled me, and talked to me, and comforted me. I think Austin might have gone to get Alan, or something. Because not long after Austin walked away, Alan walked up behind me. "Courtney Courtney Courtney!" I turned to him and started crying harder. "Court, what's wrong? Come on, let's go on a walk." So we walked, and I explained it all to him. He told me it was ok. He was going to help me, he would go into the auditions with me and it would be alright. He told me to go home and get my permission slip, and then come back and find him. So that's what I did. I was still sobbing when I got home. Truthfully, I don't know how I drove myself home. I was crying the whole way. I know, I know. It's rediculous. And I feel pretty stupid about it all now. But it's been a hard month, and I've been stressed out for a lot of things lately. This was just the icing on the cake.

So I came home. I talked to my mom. I drank a lot of water, cuz crying really isn't good right before you sing. I washed my face, brushed my hair. You know, the basic girl feel-good things.
Then I ventured back to school. I was walking into the building when Kortney showed up. She knew that I had auditions soon, and she knew how scared I was. Unlike Alan, she understood from the very beginning. We walked to the band room together, and on the way I called Alan. Alan felt really bad, but he couldn't come because he was helping with the play, and they were right in the midddle of a run-through. He wasn't allowed to leave the theater. If Kortney hadn't been there, I would have freaked out all over again. But I told Alan that I would be ok. ("Are you sure?" "No.") And I told him that I'd call him when I was finished with everything. Kortney played the song for me, as I practiced over and over again. Finally it was my turn. Kortney came in with me, and was my moral support. T talked to me a bit about choir, and why I hadn't been in it before ("Cuz I've never really thought that I could sing very well.") then she had me sing the melody. After, she told me that I should have started choir years before. She told me that my voice is very nice, it just needs a little training. Then she had me sing some scales. Kortney said that T had put me with the sopranos, and that she was trying to figure out my range. Alan told me that T had meant what she said about my voice. Huh. Well that wasn't nearly as painful as I had thought it was going to be. But Kim says that now I HAVE to try out for the musical, because now I'm "over" my fear of auditioning. NOT TRUE!! I'm still gonna be afraid. And I only have 2 weeks to figure out which song to sing, and to learn it. Uh oh. Just what I need. More stress.

I know this is a stupid post, but it feels good to get it all out. So I'm gonna keep going.

Molly and I have all but 2 lines of our song for the seminary talent show learned in sign language. Now I just have to get Alan to mix the music for me. Maybe I'll see if he can mix it for me this weekend. If he has any time. I hope he will, because the talent show is on Thursday, and we need to practice with the music.

I have a bunch of stuff going on tomorrow. I have a vocab test with over 100 words, I have 2 math assignments that I need to turn in, and I need to pass off at least 2 songs so I'm not failing guitar at midterm. The most important is the vocab test. I can always turn in the math late, he doens't take points off. And my mom says it's ok if I fail guitar at midterm, because she knows I can bring up the grade easily. So I need to focus more on the vocab tonight.

I'm pretty tired. I have been for a long time. I think it's mostly because of school. I guess I'm not getting a good enough sleep at night, or something. Who knows.

Ok, this is getting to be a really long post, and I think I'm pretty much out of things to say. Except that my room is really messy. Anyway, yeah. That's it.
Have a great night.
*corky*